On May 1st, 2011, my cousin Tyler ended his life.

He was a passionate lover - he loved food, skydiving, people, and he loved to run.
To honor my cousin, I am going to run in the 2012 Flying Pig Marathon, one year after his death,
to raise suicide awareness and something I call love awareness.

This is where I will record the journey.
I also hope that this blog will be a resource to anyone
in a similar situation to help them along.

Rest in peace, Tyler. I love you.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Day One of Training.

Yesterday was the eighth day since Tyler's death. For me, acceptance seems to have come. Am I still heartbroken? Not any less than I was on day one. Do I still love and miss Tyler? Even more than I ever have. But I don't find myself getting upset by it. Sometimes, I wish I could still curl up in bed and cry my eyes out, but it seems the time for that has passed... for now. I'm still afraid that I will go to family events expecting to see Tyler there. I even think about texting or calling him to see how he's doing, and that's when I remember.

Yesterday was also the first day of training for me and my best friend Kayla. I have chosen to follow the Couch-to-5K Running Plan to get ready for the Flying Pig Marathon next year. It starts off by having you jog for sixty seconds three times a day, three times a week.

The first jog was awful. For being so on-the-go and on my feet so much, I am an incredibly out of shape girl! It took over an hour for my stomach to settle. Nausea is my second most hated feeling, so I was pretty discouraged by it. But considering the circumstances, I knew I needed to keep going. Tyler suffered, and Jesus suffered on the cross, so I can endure a little tummy upset for them. The second jog was not as bad. My stomach only hurt a little. The third jog was the best of the three. There was no stomach ache, and I did not feel totally exhausted afterwards...

... but maybe the jogs were the reason I fell asleep at 8:30 last night. Hmmm.

361 days and counting.

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